Benson and Amaro Plus Stabler
by Raychel
Summary: After becoming Olivia Benson's new partner, Nick Amaro decides to track down Elliot Stabler. Takes place right after Elliot leaves. Pairing: EO. Full of Fluff. Re-Upload
1. Finding Elliot

Elliot Stabler picked up the newspaper on his new front step, after walking his new family edition. Misty the German shepherd scratched at the front door and Elliot let them inside. The house was too big for just one person but Elliot liked the idea that it held opportunity later on. It was a four bedroom; his kids had their own rooms when they came to visit. After leaving his long time job at Special Victims Unit in New York City, his personal life fell apart.

It was the wind that blew his house of cards over, his marriage finally ended. His job was no more and his best friend... Elliot's stomach tightened at the thought of Olivia Benson. He had been too ashamed to call her or let her know what was happening. Five long months and it still felt like yesterday.

"Thank God for coffee," Elliot took a seat at his kitchen table, after getting a cup of joe. Misty, named by his daughter Lizzie, went to her water bowl and drank as if she had never seen water, "Slow down there or you will yack it all up," Elliot looked at the dog, who looked back at him with a dubious look on her face, "Great, I am now the man who talks to his dog." Elliot sighed and looked down at the newspaper. He had purchased a house of his own on Long Island just as the divorce finalized.

"Really?" Elliot muttered as a fuzzy bone was placed in his lap, Misty had set it there and looked at him, tail wagging, "If I throw this will you let me drink my coffee and go off in a corner and chew it somewhere?" Elliot's voice made Misty more excited, he threw the fuzzy toy, it squeaked as it hit the floor. Misty chomped down on it and held up her end of the bargain by going near a window and settling down to chew on her reward.

Just as Elliot was about to glance at the section he always checked no matter what, his doorbell rang. Girl Scouts? Nah... Elliot cleared his throat and got up to see who was on his very private doorstep. It was a man who looked to be in his late thirties, he actually looked like a cop. Elliot opened the door slightly and the gentleman looked eager if not desperate, "Elliot Stabler?"

"I paid my parking tickets," Elliot responded.

"Excuse me?" The younger man looked taken off guard.

"Just some old police humor... what can I do for you officer?" Elliot found it funny that he was looking up to this twelve year old.

"I am here on my own personal business Detective Stabler," He said before looking around him as if he had a tail on him.

"I'm sorry but... I no longer work at Special Victims-" Elliot felt like someone had just thrown a piece of glass into a wound that was still healing.

"I know... I mean... that is why I came looking for you." The guy pulled out a badge, "I'm detective Amaro... I work with detective Olivia Benson, well... more like work for her in a sense."

"You're Liv's new partner?" Elliot had to hold in a scoff.

"Yes," Amaro nodded.

"You're the new me?" Elliot allowed his smile to show.

"Hardly... which is why I came to see you." Elliot just stared at this kid, he looked harmless.

"Does Liv know that you're here?" Elliot asked, knowing the answer already. The way this guy was acting, it was like Olivia had him completely trained.

"Detective Benson would hire a hit man herself to kill me if she knew I sought you out." Amaro shot a crooked smile at Elliot before getting serious again, "She has been particularly moody lately."

"She loves you that much huh?" Elliot had to admit that he was having mixed feelings toward this guy. Perhaps a sense of jealousy came out in him since this guy was with Olivia 24/7 but then again... Elliot was the one who left.

"Look... I have no idea what your relationship was to Detective Benson... but I do know that you two were partners for over twelve years. She may not have warmed up to me yet but I see the greatness in her... I also see the sad in her. She checks her messages constantly... email... to see if... well if you have called and maybe she missed it." All of the sudden, the humor was gone and the grey sky now matched Elliot's mood.

"It's complicated." Elliot grumbled.

"Too complicated to contact her? Too complicated to care that your old partner is in trouble?" This caused Elliot to become alert, his instinct raged inside of him and he had to keep himself from going to grab his wallet and car keys to head to SVU.

"What kind of trouble? What happened? If she is in trouble why didn't she tell me? Oh god... " Elliot turned to the closet where his coat was.

"She has called you... but you should know better than anyone that she would never ask anything of you...you know that."

"What kind of trouble Amaro?" Elliot could feel his blood begin to boil next to his anxious stomach; it was not a pretty feeling.

"To put it bluntly... Olivia is no longer working her best since you left. She is late to work, tired all of the time... the entire squad knows it is because you're gone. Her job is in jeopardy." Amaro watched Elliot very closely as he took this in, "The Captain has already given her a few warnings... the next one will be her last if you get what I mean." Amaro looked grim and Elliot looked down at his hands.

"So Liv might lose her job..." Elliot muttered as Misty finally came to the door to sniff at Amaro, "And you call yourself a watch dog."

"Can I convince you... at all to talk to her?" Amaro sounded desperate.

"What on earth makes you think that she would listen to me huh? I left without a word... I have no clue what I would even say to her."

"Well say _something_ dammit." Amaro was now getting irritated, "I mean don't you care about her at all?" He looked Elliot up and down, "Olivia Benson is a good person and she deserves better than this, especially from someone who I hear was her only support for 12 years."

"Look you little wannabe me, I love Olivia, she was my real family for as long as we worked together, never question my care for that woman."

"So why the hell would you just abandon her?" Amaro insisted, leaving Elliot to wonder how he could even begin to answer this heavy question.

"You wanna come in? I just brewed some coffee," Elliot's invitation caught Amaro off guard. He checked his watch before stepping inside, "Don't worry about removing your shoes, my dog makes me clean my carpet enough times a week." Elliot shut and locked the front door. Misty growled at Amaro as Elliot led the rookie to the dining room table where Amaro took a seat.

"I am pressed for time, Benson thinks that I am out getting lunch,"

"Her name is Olivia," Elliot corrected Amaro, his back turned to him as he poured a fresh cup of coffee, "Liv will work after you have been on a first name basis after a while."

"Excuse me?"

"If you want Liv to warm up to you, try calling her by her first name, she won't like it right now since you are new and not... me." Elliot swallowed a lump that had formed in his throat. He pushed aside the paper that would never be read until never.

"I still don't understand how you can be so calm." Amaro took a gulp of the coffee and made a face of approval, "Good coffee."

"Thanks," Elliot forced a smile, "I can be calm because... I know that Liv is ok. She's strong, stronger than I ever was... I mean she is probably better off without me there." Elliot was shocked at Amaro's reaction, he set the coffee cup down enough to make a noise but not spilling anything.

"That is the stupidest shit I have heard all damn day. You left her and you cannot even return her calls? You know what? Maybe she is better off without you." Amaro's eyes darkened.

"What the hell am I supposed to say to her? I killed a kid... for a rapist... forgive me, lets go get some coffee? No. Liv deserves better than that, she deserves a better partner and a better friend." Elliot sighed as Misty came over and laid her head in his lap.

"Just. Call. Her. Email her... hire a blimp, I don't care... just... step up. Live up to your title man."

"No..."

"God, no wonder you two worked so well together, both stubborn as hell." Amaro's phone went off, he checked the caller ID and his eyes darted to Elliot before answering, "Amaro-...Yeah I know, traffic is hell right now...what?" Amaro stood up and began to pace, "Well is she ok?" Elliot's instinct boiled inside of him despite his words, "Ok well... tell her I will be there ASAP... no... yeah... thanks. Bye." Amaro shook his head, downed his cup of coffee and slammed it down on the table, "I gotta go but thanks for the coffee and the... tips."

"That was Liv?" Elliot dared to ask.

"No, someone with Ben- I mean Olivia." Amaro heaved a sigh before looking Elliot straight in the eye, "Just for the record, I wish I could like you, respect you but you are hurting someone you claim to love. That is a shame... that is a coward." And with that Amaro was gone.

Elliot felt like his air supply was low, he was torn. He felt horrible, guilty and disgusting. He was so sure that Olivia was alright but he had been more than wrong. Misty whined at him and he looked down at her.

"What would you do?" He asked the dog who immediately ran to the door and barked at him.

"You've got to be kidding me." Elliot buried his face in his hands.


	2. Surprise

Olivia Benson paced in the ladies room of the Special Victims Unit. She was feeling sick again but she was positive it was stress.

"Amaro is on his way," Casey Novak walked into the restroom and looked at Olivia with a heavy sadness.

"Ok," Olivia answered absent mindedly.

"Are you sure that you don't want to go home, Liv?"

"No, home is... no," Olivia cut herself off and shook her head.

'Liv, it's been..."

"Five months and four days," Olivia finished Casey's sentence.

"He... is not coming back Olivia," Casey tried to say in the most supportive tone that she could muster.

"He could still-"

"Liv, please listen to me, Elliot killed a kid, he killed a victim and... you don't come back from that just like that." Casey gulped, "Especially when it comes to the people who you love and love you back. Elliot was your family and you were his,"

"Casey... please." Olivia began to shake.

"This is tough for you to hear I know it is but it is the truth,"

'I just want to know why," Olivia argued.

"Why?"

"Why he left me," Olivia turned around to look out of the tiny barred window before looking back at Casey, "Leaving the job I understand, I do. If I had been in Elliot's shoes I would have done the same thing but I would not just LEAVE." Olivia shook her head as her eyes brimmed with tears.

"You did though," Casey went still and Olivia had to stare at her.

"What?"

"FBI... Dean Porter... does that ring a bell?"

"Oregon has nothing to do with this."

"Or what about the time when Gitano was going to kill Elliot but you picked him over the vic? You and Elliot picked each other over the job so you did leave and I saw that man walk around exactly how you are right now." Casey shook off the memory, "So give him a little credit, Liv."

"This is different Casey and you know it. Kathy won't take my calls, I would never dare to ask his kids... so I just... stopped."

"Closure would be a damn good thing right now and if I knew where Elliot was I would drag him in here myself to give it to you. But the captain has agreed to grant Elliot's wishes to not be bothered. That when Elliot is ready he will contact us."

"Of course," Olivia rolled her eyes.

"However something tells me that it is not effecting the rest of us as badly as it if effecting you," Casey frowned. There was a sudden knock on the door and Casey stepped aside, "Yes?"

"Is Det- I mean Olivia in there?" It was Nick Amaro.

"Did he just call me Olivia?"

"Give the kid a break, maybe he is trying to be nice," Casey whispered and then answered, "Yes detective she's in here do you need her?"

"Lunch is no more, they screwed up the order so I was wondering if Det- er- Olivia would like to go out for lunch instead?" The question hung in the air for quite some time until Casey answered for Olivia.

"She would love that," Casey's eyes locked on Olivia's angry ones.

"Great, I'll go let the captain know." And Amaro's shadow was gone from the glass window.

"I'm not hungry,"

"Well then get hungry."

"I cannot eat Case, it's been making me sick."

"Look, when was the last time you ate something healthy for you? When was the last time you got out? Besides your house or the office? This is not healthy Liv and get used to your new partner because he may not be Elliot but he is a damn good detective and a nice man." Casey stared Olivia down.

"Whatever," Olivia washed her hands and then followed Casey out of the ladies room. She went to her desk to grab her purse, taking note that the screensaver on her computer had begun. Pictures of her and the SVU gang, one of Elliot and Olivia came on the screen. She moved her mouse to make it go away and stood up to breathe.

"Captain told us to take our time, you ready?" Amaro held out his hand and Olivia just stared at him, "I was going to offer to drive."

"Oh," Olivia was caught off guard but she relinquished the car keys to Amaro and he smiled at her. A little freaked out, Olivia turned to make her way to the elevator.

"So do you like subs?" Amaro asked her as they waited for their floor.

"I'm really not that hungry," Olivia shrugged watching the numbers light up.

"You know I have a goldfish that eats more than you do... seriously when was the last time you ate something? And coffee does not count," Amaro accused as their turn came and they got into the tiny space.

"Seriously, just pick something and I will get whatever." Olivia shut her eyes, silently counting to ten.

"So... Chinese?"

"Eh," Olivia made a face, it made her think of Elliot and her stomach turned.

"Burger? Hot dog? Burrito?" Amaro sighed when he did not get a response.

"You mentioned subs?" Olivia finally spoke. Mostly to shut him up but it was honestly the only thing that appealed to her at the moment.

"Oh yeah, there is this great little place a few blocks away that I found a few weeks ago. Gotta be the best sub place I've found in Manhattan. Trust me you will like it, if you don't then I owe you dinner," Olivia snapped out of her misery for a moment to look at Amaro who flushed, "That came out wrong, um, I meant that um, that was not me asking you out to dinner. I mean we work together a lot, late and we still have yet to grab a bite after or during," Amaro's awkwardness made Olivia laugh softly and he looked happily surprised, "So she does have a laugh..." He mused.

"Alright Amaro, if this sub place is great then... I owe you dinner," Olivia's comeback flustered Amaro and she had to smile, even though there was still a trace of sadness, "Don't look so freaked partner, we do work together and still have yet to have dinner together." Olivia admitted.

"It's Nick," Amaro looked at her.

"What?"

"My name... is Nick. We can't keep calling each other by our last names, it's so impersonal."

"Well... that's the point," Olivia muttered as they got out of the elevator.

"Come again?"

"No need to get close on a personal level, it just..." Olivia shook her head.

"Well fine, I am still going to start calling you Olivia." Amaro grinned, making Olivia roll her eyes.

"Ugh."

"I mean that _is_ your name right?"

"You know, it's funny I am all of the sudden hungry enough to run away from this conversation."

"Olivia it is,"

"Ok what is up with you? Why are you being so nice? We have never had a personal conversation ever if at all." Olivia looked at him suspiciously, "Did you meet someone?"

"What? No! Met someone? Of course not, I have no- Oh... oh you meant a woman." Amaro sighed with relief, "No."

"Who did you think that I meant?" Olivia asked as they were now walking out of the building.

"Uh..." Amaro cleared his throat.

"Oh my God." Olivia stumbled and Amaro put his hand on the small of her back to keep her from falling.

"Liv," Elliot Stabler stood outside of the precinct, one hand in his pocket while the other had a leash with a German Shepherd on the other end of it. His blue eyes were full of sorrow and a bit of happiness. The next thing Olivia Benson saw was black as she passed out in Nick Amaro's arms.

son saw was black as she passed out in Nick Amaro's arms.


	3. Doctors Orders

Misty rushed her master over to the passed out woman in Nick's arms, Elliot bent over as other people gathered around.

"Give her some room people," Nick put a free arm out.

"Liv? Olivia?" Elliot took her from Nick's arms and into his own, "Has she had anything to eat today?"

"That is where we were headed," Nick sighed and patted Misty on the head who was licking Olivia's hand.

"Has someone called an ambulance?" Elliot asked the crowd.

"They are on their way," A woman in white answered and Elliot thanked her.

"You couldn't have called or at least waited until she was sitting down?" Nick asked as Elliot swept hair out of Olivia's face. She had grown it out again; she was more beautiful than ever. Even though Elliot could see the sadness in her.

"Well, I wasn't expecting to see her until I got up to the precinct. Until I paced in the stairwell a million times and rehearsed what I was going to say." Elliot replied to Nick.

"OH," Olivia began to come to, her eyes opening ever so slightly; she looked up to see Elliot staring down at her. The reaction she had was exactly what Elliot was expecting, if he knew Olivia Benson well enough she would not run into his arms because she was happy but instead she would be angry, "What... the... hell... are... you... doing here?" Olivia asked in a weak voice, "Am I dreaming?"

"You son of a bitch," Fin's voice cried out, "Elliot, where did you come from? We heard the radio and rushed down."

"Fin?" Olivia looked around with her eyes.

"Yeah it's me Liv."

"Nick... help me up." Olivia looked over at her new partner and Elliot could not help but feel completely rejected. Nick sent him an apologetic look as he took Olivia from his arms. Elliot tried to keep a hand on her left arm as Nick supported her but Olivia shook it off.

"Are you lost? Did you forget something?" Olivia was irate, "Perhaps you need the contents of your desk, I should know since I cleaned it out for you months ago."

"Liv... please." Elliot pleaded to her.

"Maybe we should leave... you two alone." Nick suggested.

"Just to let Liv kill Elliot? I don't think so, get some food in her, Amaro and I'll take care of Elliot," Fin shot him a look.

"How could you just show up like this? After five months? You never returned my calls... my emails... you... just disappeared." Olivia had tears in her eyes that refused to fall. All of the sudden no one else was there, like it had always been with Elliot and Olivia.

"I'm sorry!" Elliot cried out. The crowd of people had moved away to give the cops their privacy.

"Oh... you're sorry well that makes it all better then." Olivia snorted and it was then that she noticed Misty still licking her hand, "You got a dog?"

"Yeah... I got a dog."

"I thought that Kathy was allergic to dogs," Olivia looked utterly confused, "Is the marriage that bad now? You're resorting to torture? It's not enough that you hurt me but you have to hurt everyone else around you?"

"Enough!" Elliot finally snapped, "If you think that coming here was easy, it wasn't. Do you know how much I have wanted to call you? I killed a victim; I... took an innocent life, you don't just bounce back from that, Liv."

"Maybe you two should move this inside," Nick suggested, eyeing the bystanders who were sending them dirty looks for disrupting the peace.

"No, he was just leaving," Olivia was still shaky, "He does it wonderfully."

"Throw all the jabs you want at me, I'm not going anywhere," Elliot's shoulder's fell, " Liv, just give me a chance to explain."

"I have work to do," Olivia turned to go inside but fell over so fast that it was now Fin who helped to catch her.

"Where the hell is that ambulance?" Nick asked as he and Elliot were both on opposite sides of Fin.

"I feel... so weak," Olivia groaned as her eyes shut slightly, momentarily forgetting her anger towards Elliot.

"El... maybe you should go..." Fin said gently, "I'm not so sure Liv is up for this."

"No." Elliot shook his head as he reached out to touch Olivia's hand. She did not pull away; perhaps it was because she was too weak or perhaps she was finally happy that Elliot was back. Elliot had to give it to the fact that she was weak.

"Finally," Nick said when the ambulance pulled up.

"Check blood sugar," The medics took over and started doing a check up on Olivia. Elliot watched and stayed close, he had stayed away for so long and he would hate himself for leaving her again. Deep down Olivia was happy to see him; she just would not admit it. He understood why she was so angry with him though.

"Wow, pulse is faint; blood sugar is... we need to get you to the hospital. Do you consent?" The medic asked Olivia and she shook her head.

"Stubborn as always," Elliot sighed, "She's going, I'm her next of kin and power of attorney."

"No you're not," Olivia grumbled through the oxygen mask.

"The paperwork is still at the hospital, you signed the papers for me to be your voice if you could not speak." Elliot reminded her and she looked away, "So take her," Elliot signed the clipboard, "I...um," He turned to Fin, "Can you watch her for me?" He looked down at Misty who was now looking bored on the side walk.

"What? How come I get dog duty?" Fin protested as he accepted the leash.

"You're a cop, roll with it." Elliot left Misty with Nick and Fin before hopping into his car to follow the ambulance. Once they had Olivia in her room, he was allowed to go in and see her. She was hooked up to a lot of machines, color was returning to her face and she was calmer than before.

"Hey," Elliot spoke as he poked his head in, "Can I come in?"

"Yeah," She sounded better but still looked sad.

"I am honestly-"

"Please stop apologizing," Olivia cut him off.

"-so sorry that I did this to you. I had no idea you would... faint."

"I didn't faint because of you," Olivia looked down at her hands, "Well... kind of but apparently I am lacking in vitamins, dehydrated and some quack of a doctor thinks that I am depressed or something."

"Are you?" Elliot asked her.

"I'm f-"

"Fine?" Elliot finished for her, "Yeah that line stopped working about three years after we began working together. Liv, what is really going on?" Elliot sat down next to her bed.

"I just... ever since you left..."

"I was only trying to make things better," Elliot told her honestly.

"Better? Better... after everything I have been through and everything and everyone I have lost you wanted to get lost too?" Olivia's eyes teared up, "How dare you treat me like anyone else Elliot Stabler, how dare you." Elliot took this in before reaching out to her hand, she pulled away and he felt defeated.

"Liv please," He pleaded without knowing he would.

"Please what? Ease your pain by letting you hold my hand?"

"No Liv, No. I want to ease _your_ pain, I left and that was wrong and stupid and everything under the sun. I am so sorry and I will keep telling you." Elliot had hot tears in his eyes ready to cascade down his face, "I am sorry. I never want to leave you again. I'm here now Liv, I am here now."

"Knock Knock," The doctor walked in with a smile on his face, "Hi Olivia, how are you feeling?"

"Better,"

"Good! Well all of your tests are back and I want to keep you for a little while so I can feed you vitamins and nutrients via IV. Also re-hydrate you," The doctor checked her IV, "I _am_ concerned about one thing though," He eyed Elliot and then Olivia.

"He can hear," Olivia gave the OK and let Elliot take her hand finally.

"You are going to have to cut back on the stress... your heart's not doing so well," Olivia and Elliot both looked like an anvil had been thrown at their heads, well they hadn't expected _that_.

"What do you mean?" Olivia asked in an unusually high voice.

"We found a murmur, now this can be brought on by stress which... is why I am prescribing you something to help with it." The doctor pulled out a needle and set it in the IV, "This will help calm you down,"

"Am I going to be OK?"

"I suggest that whatever has been stressing you out, you need to seek help for it. If you are going through a loss... trauma... hard times... a counselor can help you. You need to take this seriously." The doctor gave her a warm smile, "Hopefully you will help her do that?" He said to Elliot.

"You have my word, Doctor."

"Good," He then left the two of them alone, Elliot still holding Olivia's hand. Neither of them spoke for a minute or two, the ticking clock in the hospital room seemed to grow louder until...

"I did this," Elliot began to cry, finally giving in. Olivia turned to look at him, her eyes pools of concern.

"El..." His nickname slipped out and Olivia clamped her mouth shut, "Don't."

"No, don't try to make excuses for me. I... made it so hard for you. I was such a damn coward," Elliot shook his head and laid it on her hand that was engulfed in his own. Olivia hesitated before setting her free hand on his head in a comforting gesture and Elliot looked up at her.

"This isn't entirely your fault, El," Olivia whispered to him, "I've been under a lot of stress for a while now."

"Liv, come stay with me for a few weeks, I have a new house and it's just me and Misty. I get Eli every other week-end. Liv... please. Let me fix this."

"What happened to Kathy?" Olivia asked, her tone different all of the sudden.

"The divorce was just finalized." Elliot gulped.

"But I hate you right now," Olivia reminded him.

"As long as you are alive to hate me, that's all that matters." Elliot smiled at her, "I won't ever leave you again, I swear."

"Ok, now you're just sounding borderline stalker." Olivia let him know before posing her next question, "What about my job?"

"When was the last time you took leave?" Elliot asked her and she thought about it, "Yeah, that would be never. Take some time off."

"I don't know."

"Olivia listen to me, you need this."

"El..."

"Liv..."


	4. Confrontations

"How is she?" Casey Novak demanded as she exited the elevator with Nick, "Where is she? I am going to kill Elliot for showing up like this,"

"Casey calm down, she was lucid when I saw her last," Nick reassured her, "Besides, haven't you wanted Stabler to show back up just like Olivia has?"

"Well yeah but not like this! He could have given her a warning email or a call! Hi, Olivia Benson, what room is she in? Show her your badge." Casey elbowed Nick and he rolled his eyes as he pulled out his identification. The nurse gave them a look before checking her clipboard, "Why are you so calm anyway, Amaro?" Casey eyed him suspiciously as Nick tucked his badge back into his pocket.

"A room number would be nice right about now," He said to the nurse, ignoring Casey's question.

"You knew about this?" Casey's eyes flashed as she poked her index finger into Nick's ridiculously expensive tie.

"I had no idea he would just show up like that!" Nick defended himself and backed away from Casey, straightening his tie, "Are we even at the right hospital?" He and Casey finally looked back at the nurse who was just standing there watching them with a bored look on her face.

"Miss Benson was brought in today due to stress… and as I watch the scene in front of me it is not calming in the least. Now ya'll are not getting that room number until you two calm down," The nurse stared them down as if she were a teacher telling two kids to stop fighting over the last crayon.

"Sorry," Casey composed herself and stepped away from Nick.

"My apologies," He said to the nurse and she eyed them both critically.

"Look, I don't care who you two are. You two could be the CIA for all I care, you upset her anymore then she needs and I will have you both escorted off of the premises," She then looked at Nick, "You _and_ your badge." She paused and then pointed down the hall behind her, "Third door on the right."

"Thank you," Casey said as she and Nick hurried down the hallway as the nurse muttered something about cops abusing the power of their badge. Elliot was sitting in a chair outside of the room, staring at a magazine he was clearly not really reading.

"Casey, Amaro… thanks for coming." Elliot stood up, tossing the magazine onto the chair. The pages slipped off of the plastic, causing the magazine to fall to the floor. Giving Elliot a few seconds of calm before the storm.

"We did not come for _you_ ," Casey snapped at him.

"Oh great… so you're peeved at me too huh?" Elliot grumbled, running a hand over his mouth.

"Careful, she's pretty testy right now," Nick warned Elliot but Casey cut him off.

"If I was not going to be kicked off of the property then I would rip your head off and give it to someone who really needs a new brain."

"Nice Casey, very nice. Well you are going to have to take a number and get in line." Elliot huffed at her.

"Oh are there a lot of people pissed off at you, Elliot?" Casey asked with mock surprise, "Gee, I wonder why that is."

"Look, you two better cool it before Nurse Betty comes over and kicks us out of the hospital." Nick butted in.

"Oh please, she's not going to kick you out, you're a cop for crying out loud. As for Casey... well she could use some fresh air." Elliot was in defensive mode and he was making it obvious.

"Here's an idea, why don't we get back on track and you tell us how Det- dammit, I mean Olivia, how Olivia is doing?" Nick reminded them why they were there.

"Well the usual, malnourished and dehydrated… with a heart murmur."

"What?" Casey exclaimed and then looked around, taking notice of the nurse watching her, "I mean… what?" She lowered her voice.

"Heart condition? Oh my God," Nick put a hand to his forehead, "Do they know what caused it?"

"Stress…" Elliot cleared his throat and the atmosphere in the hallway changed.

"Ok, um... so what do they plan to do?" Casey seemed to have a hard time concentrating, "I mean how serious is this?"

"The doctor said that she needs to take out the stress in her life; I know, right? Well… since I am her next of kin and Liv resides alone she's coming home with me for a few weeks."Elliot's news was almost comical, it was insane, just plain ludicrous.

"You're kidding right?" Casey's voice was thick with amusement, "Please tell me you're joking," Her eyes got bigger, "Elliot Stabler, please tell me you are trying to be funny."

"No, I'm really not," Elliot replied in calm manner.

"So wait, how is the person that caused her stress going help to take it away?" Casey asked Elliot, his eyes glazing over for a moment from this.

"It was not just me leaving," Elliot argued, "It's everything… the loss of Calvin… Sonya… all of the cases…"

"He's right Casey, this was just the tip of the iceberg," Nick agreed.

"I will deal with you later," Casey glared at Nick.

"What about work?" Nick asked Elliot, feeling the need to pace back and forth.

"I spoke to Don and he is more than willing to give Liv four weeks paid leave. In fact he is demanding it."

"What the hell is Olivia going to do with four weeks off?" Casey snorted, "Not that I am against this, Liv needs the time off but she cannot even handle a day off let alone four damn weeks."

"That is where I come in," Elliot held up his head with conviction, "I have the room and it gets kind of lonely with me and just the dog. It is going to be my job to help her recover."

"From something you did?" Casey asked dryly, "I'm sorry but aren't you the one that left? How can the cause of her pain be the solution?"

"Casey, please just give it a damn rest!" Nick intervened, "Pardon the intrusion but give the man a break and some credit. He wants to make it up to Olivia and he _is_ right the house is huge."

"The house is huge? Ugh, I knew you had something to do with this," Casey groaned, pressing her fingers to her temples, "Are you sure _you_ weren't the one who put her here? Because you are giving me a damn headache."

"Hey Casey, have you ever heard of leaving work… oh I don't know… at work?" Nick retorted.

"Casey, look I know that you love Olivia like a sister and you are just trying to protect her. You have been there for her instead of me for the past five months but it's my turn now. What I did was wrong and cowardly and if I could go back…" Elliot's voice drifted off, "But I can't so you have to believe me when I swear that I am truly sorry." Elliot watched Casey as she took this in, "You are more than welcome to rip my head off and feed it to my own dog… after Liv gets better."

"That sounds reasonable," Casey looked down and her face changed a bit to less angry.

"Oh why Hello, are you Olivia's family?" The doctor shut the door after him and took in Casey and Nick.

"Yes," Casey answered immediately.

"No," Nick sighed, "I'm her partner."

"Well that is good enough, Olivia is going to be alright. She has agreed to go home with you Elliot, she does not seem too keen on the idea. Something tells me that you are just what she needs though." The doctor patted Elliot's shoulder. Casey did not miss the smug look Elliot sent her and she held back the urge to roll her eyes.

"Thanks Doc."

"Can we see her?" Casey asked urgently.

"She's just getting dressed and should be out in a minute or two." They all shook the doctors hand before he headed down the hallway to answer a page.

"So… a new house huh?" Casey started conversation that wouldn't be stressful for Olivia to walk in on.

"Yes, the divorce was just finalized and I purchased a home in Long Island. It has more then enough room for Liv."

"I'm sorry to hear about the divorce, Elliot," Casey said in sincerity.

"Thanks Casey," Elliot sent her a smile which she returned as a silent truce was made.

"You can thank me later," Nick said to Casey.

"Don't push it," Casey pointed at him and then stared around at the surroundings before she smothered Elliot in a delayed hug, "You better take care of her Elliot, I am talking Hollywood happy, Reese Witherspoon happy. Do you understand me?" Elliot chuckled at Casey as he hugged her back.

"I promise that and then some," Elliot told her as she pulled away from him.

"Good," Casey nodded, "It's good to see you again, Elliot," She finally said.

"Thanks Case, you too." Elliot smiled at her, "You are more than welcome at my home any time, you too Amaro."

"Oh trust me, we'll be there." Casey said almost as a threat, "I mean to check on Liv when you're not there and... yeah."

"Why not make it this Sunday? We can have a few beers, I can finally use my grill, maybe throw in a few board games or something." Elliot looked from Casey to Nick.

"Jesus, where did you move? Pleasantville?" Casey quipped, "Alright… I will spread the word." She smiled.

"Oh" Olivia startled when she opened her door, "Casey, Amaro you didn't have to come,"

"Of course we did," Casey pulled Olivia into a gentle hug, "I am so glad you are ok, I was worried shitless."

"Oh Casey relax, I'm-"

"Fine?" Everyone finished for Olivia and she looked sheepish.

"You really need to get a new line, Liv," Casey teased her.

"Glad to see you pulled through," Nick smiled at Olivia but she did not smile back.

"You didn't have to come," Olivia told him with a cold exterior.

"You're my partner," Nick reminded her warmly. Olivia looked down and Elliot seemed to sense her discomfort so he took her hand in his.

"Thanks for everything, I will call you," Elliot said, all of the sudden his voice full of authority that Nick had not heard before.

"Right um, if you need anything Olivia please don't hesitate to call me," Nick told her and she forced a smile at him. Nick left the scene and as he got into the elevator he turned to watch Casey and Elliot comfort Olivia. Something in his stomach turned and he mashed the doors closed button. He was determined to get Olivia to open up to him, it would happen, he just had to be patient.


	5. Driving Miss Benson

"What is this?" Olivia looked curiously at the piece of paper labeled "Shopping list" that Elliot handed to her. They had just stopped by the precinct to pick up Misty, who had been reluctant to leave the squad. Elliot had found Fin looking up ads on Craigslist for his own German Shepherd.

"Yeah, just write down what you need or want and after I drop you two off, I'll head to the store and add it to my own shopping list." Elliot explained politely. Olivia stared at him for a moment before grabbing the pen from his jacket pocket, uncapping it with her teeth and scribbling hard onto the note. The list went flying into Elliot and he looked down to see what she had put down.

 **NOTHING**

"Cute Liv, real cute," Elliot muttered and she actually smirked, "But you do realize that you just gave me permission to buy you anything and everything I want to, right?" Elliot pocketed the piece of paper as if closing his case. Olivia curled her lip up in his direction, opened her mouth to say something but then clamped it shut and took a few deep breaths.

"Then I will just have to be conveniently allergic to anything and everything you buy me," Olivia put her head back against the seat. Misty licked Olivia's face and she reached back to scratch the dog's furry head, "I know what you are trying to do and it is not going to work so you can just stop right now." Olivia's wall was up within seconds and Elliot's dog was now on Olivia's side of the car.

"Traitor," Elliot muttered to the dog but it looked like he said it to Olivia.

"Excuse me?" She opened one eye and he just shook his head.

"Something was stuck in my throat," Elliot cleared his throat loudly as traffic began to move more swiftly.

"Something like your foot?" Olivia retorted. Elliot decided to ignore the jab; he understood Olivia's reason for hating him right now. He hated himself too for leaving her but it was his job to make things right, to pick up where they had left off. Even if that place had already been so complicated. Even if Olivia was going to make him suffer down to the very last minute of the day, he was determined to make it up to her.

"Ya know we can't just pick up where we left off, Elliot," Olivia broke into his train of thought, as if reading his mind and putting up a stoplight, "You can't just return and expect everything to be fine. It doesn't work like that, this is not Hollywood." Olivia began to rant and he decided to let her, "You cannot just cue the sappy music and show up on my doorstep with an apology note and then expect me to forget everything. Yes, I am sure you have been through a lot, I am positive you have. You just dropped me so conveniently. So what if we were partners for twelve years? Who cares if you were the only person closest to me then…?" Olivia cut herself off. Misty stopped breathing as if waiting for Elliot's response, the traffic began to move and as Elliot pressed his foot against the gas pedal he decided to try again.

"Liv… you have every right to bite my head off right now," Elliot stated the obvious, "I just… I won't get into this in the car, during Manhattan traffic. I think we should just put the radio on and you should get some sleep." A scoff came out of Olivia and Misty made a noise of disapproval.

"Believe it or not, right now I really don't care what you think." Olivia let him know, "And your driving sucks too much for me to sleep," Olivia sighed, keeping her eyes shut. Elliot swallowed a remark that he almost barked at her but he knew it was his job to keep her calm. There was so much he wanted to tell her, to apologize for. To let her know that he stayed away because he thought it might be better for her.

"I think that you are really going to love my new place," Elliot decided to change the subject, even if it was a curve ball.

"I doubt it," Olivia muttered, rubbing her eyes as if trying to stay awake. Elliot decided to ignore her determination to shut every positive thing down.

"No really, it's huge Liv; I mean I have a dining room that I don't even use, but the kids like it, it's good for Misty. It has a huge deck with a backyard. There's even a place to start planting a garden." Elliot Stabler had no idea what he was doing, he had no idea why he sounded like a commercial for a Spring Time collection at Bed, Bath and Beyond. He was attempting to keep things light but instead he was just making it sound like he'd joined a country club and was learning how play Cricket every Thursday afternoon.

"You want to become a gardener?" Olivia cut in, throwing her own curve ball at him.

"Well, no." Elliot answered in an awkward tone.

"But you just mentioned that there is a place to start a garden, I would assume that you were planning on becoming the next Brad Pitt." Olivia sounded like she was talking to him from very far away, Elliot resisted the urge to check her forehead for a fever.

"Brad Pitt gardens?" Elliot asked critically.

"Landscapes," Olivia sighed, sounding more tired.

"Well,good for Brad Pitt. I dunno I guess I mentioned it, just in case you might want to… start a garden." Elliot revealed and Olivia opened her eyes to gape at him.

"Do I look like I might want to start a garden?" All of the sudden she sounded offended.

"Um…" Elliot prayed for a green light.

"Do I look like I wanna knit my own scarves, make my own jams and maybe plant some daisies, Elliot? Or perhaps you have some flowers you're not willing to get your hands dirty for." Olivia was on a roll and Elliot prayed to the Heavens for a green light, "Hey, I am going to give Olivia a place to stay so she can maybe also become my new interior designer slash gardener…" This was the longest red light Elliot had ever encountered.

"Did the doctor give you something?" Elliot praised God for the green light but shot a glance at Olivia.

"The doctor might have, maybe given me something to calm me down," She sunk down in her seat, staring at her fingernails, "It's probably for the best since I'm so mad at you and all right now."

"Well, that explains it." Elliot muttered under his breath, "Speaking of medication, where are your prescriptions?"

"I think they are in the back," Olivia pointed underneath her seat, "In my purse."

"Great, if you wanna give them to me, I can drop them off and pick them up later." Elliot offered, turning onto his Exit.

"I feel too… blah to get my purse," Olivia yawned, "Whatever the doctor gave me is making me feel… dare I say… drunkish?"

"OK, one… drunkish is not a word and two… a man never goes into a woman's purse." Elliot told her very calmly.

"Oh, please." Olivia grumbled.

"Liv, I am begging you. Please do not make me go into your purse," Elliot pleaded, not caring how scared he sounded.

"For crying out loud Elliot, it's a purse, not a grenade. All you'll find in there is my wallet, lipstick… birth control pills, maybe a tampon or two." Oh yes, Olivia Benson had definitely been given something at the Hospital.

"Ok, ok! Thank you Detective for the warning…" Elliot reached into the back and grabbed her purse, refraining from wondering why Olivia Benson had birth control pills.

"Oh," Olivia set a hand on her stomach and groaned.

"Are you ok?" Elliot had found the papers and set her purse aside.

"Yeah… just… oh never mind."

"No Liv, what is it? Do you feel sick? Do you need me to pull over?" Elliot checked the lanes to see if he had enough room without pissing anyone off.

"Oh no, it is nothing like that." Olivia made a face, "It's... nothing."

"I can't help you if you don't tell me what's wrong," Elliot reminded her. Olivia's stomach growled like a wildcat and she flushed a crimson red. Elliot sighed in relief when he realized that she was was probably just in need of food, "Liv, are you hungry?"

"No," Olivia answered immediately.

"I can stop and get something for you. Anything you want, you name it."

"My stomach obviously has turrets Elliot because I am not hungry," Olivia's stomach betrayed her once more. The grumbling was so loud it caused Missy to stare at Olivia with concern before giving her a lick on the cheek.

"Oh come on," Elliot was a tad annoyed now, "Let me feed you."

"I'm sorry, all seriousness aside, can you say that one more time," Olivia looked amused.

"What? Let me feed you?" Elliot asked, completely confused.

"Are you sure that you are not talking to Misty?" The dog lifted her head and an ear perked up from her name being mentioned.

"Alright, well it looks like we are going to be cutting your dosage in half," Elliot declared loudly as he took out his cell phone.

"What are you doing?"

"Ordering take out to be delivered at my house so it will be there right as we are arriving." Elliot explained.

"I told you, that, that is not going to work on me." Olivia responded.

"What isn't going to work?" Elliot asked, phone still against his ear. Olivia watched him order some Tai food and then looked at her, curious at her silence, "What's not going to-" but he shut up when he saw her snoring softly in her seat. Elliot sighed to himself in content. The doctor must have given Olivia truth serum in a pill; it had been wild to say the least. He was so used to a sober Olivia Benson. Elliot did not like her that drugged, yes; he was cutting her dose in half. He would hate to think they made up just with the help of some drug. Or perhaps that doctor knew that Olivia might have been a hazard to him and herself on the long drive home.

Elliot drove the rest of the way home in peace. He took in his neighborhood and was proud of where he lived. It was a very nice residential street, his neighbors were really friendly, the type to have community parties. There was a Christmas party coming up since it was now the end of November. Hopefully Elliot would be able to invite Olivia, by then without having to drag her kicking and screaming out of the door. His driveway was coming up and he gently rubbed Olivia's shoulder.

"What? Who? Huh?" Olivia startled and Elliot kept his voice calm.

"We're here," He smiled as they pulled into the long driveway.

"You have a gate?" Olivia asked in flat tone.

"Shouldn't every retired cop?"

"And… you have flowers… and a… really? You have a white picket fence?" Olivia looked over at him with a critical look on her face.

"It was the city that did that not me and come on Liv, like you have never wanted to stay at a place with a white picket fence," Elliot teased her.

"Looks like the delivery guy is stalking us," Olivia pointed in the rear view mirror.

"I love that place, they are always on time," Elliot sighed happily," Alright, well let me pay for this food. I will give you the grand tour and… you can get settled in," Elliot gave her a hopeful smile but she just stared back at him with a curled up lip.

"Whatever."


	6. Not All A Dream

AN: …long chapter because I haven't updated this story in a while. I'm SORRY!

Olivia Benson was no longer feeling loopy, she had finally given into eating her plate of food while Elliot ate his own dish and Misty, who was usually not allowed to beg, just stared at Olivia until every piece of food was gone to beg for.

"Feel better?" Elliot asked her as she took a sip of her water and said nothing, "I will take that as a 'yes'." Elliot looked at his watch and stood up from the dining room table, "I am going to head to the store and pharmacy before it gets too late. Let me show you, your room before I go. Casey texted me and told me she would be bringing over your things once she gets done at the office." Elliot picked up Olivia's dish as well as his own and carried them to the kitchen sink.

"Your dog won't stop staring at me," Olivia looked over at the ferocious looking dog who was just wagging her tail at Olivia and smiling with her tongue out.

"She likes you," Elliot snorted, "She'll probably sleep in your room tonight instead of mine," Elliot looked at the dog, "Traitor." He then caught himself before setting the dishes in the dishwasher, "that is… if you don't mind…"

"Of course I don't mind, I've always wanted a dog. Just… no time," Olivia sighed and held her hand out to Misty.

"Well as long as you are here Liv, what's mine is yours." Elliot said to her and waited for the snide comeback but none came. Olivia just nodded curtly and got up from the table; Elliot offered his hand but took it back as soon, realizing that Olivia would never take that gesture.

"There is a bedroom down here; it is for the girls when they need a place to crash." Elliot smiled as he pointed down a long hallway. Olivia began to go down it but Elliot put out his arm to stop her, "Oh come on Liv… you're getting the master suite." Elliot looked at her as she appeared surprised but she then suppressed it. There was a chandelier that hung over the front room and over the banister staircase.

"Never… in a million years would I have imagined someone like you… living in a place like this. I mean, where is the fountain?" Olivia looked all over as they walked up the white carpeted stairs.

"Oh I had them remove it, it was so… gaudy," Elliot smirked and led her down a long hallway, "Your room is right next to my room, so if you ever need anything-"

"Elliot…" Olivia began.

"Right, you need your rest." Elliot opened up the double doors to reveal a room fit for someone royal. Olivia almost fainted again at the décor. It was a four post bed with at least Seven Pillows across the top. She had a desk, a computer, a television, bookshelf, dresser and even an outside patio.

"I think you need to take me back to the hospital," Olivia muttered.

"Are you ok? Do you need to lie down?" Elliot was by her side in a moment but she just walked into the room and took everything in.

"What the hell are you doing with a room like this? Please do not tell me a poodle is going to jump out of a closet and start doing circus tricks," Olivia was in awe at the beauty of the room.

"I let Maureen decorate this room. It is the room she wants to stay in when she comes and see's me. If she ever does," Elliot sighed, "So this is your room Liv, private bath as well. I have nextflix and cable and you can order anything you want. Oh," Elliot hurried over to the side of her bed and she watched him cautiously, "And an intercom."

"A what?"

"An intercom," Elliot became excited, just a like a man would over any gadget.

"Isn't that why we have cell phones?" Olivia remarked.

"Liv, it is an intercom for if you need me, all you do is press the red button, it is right next to my bed and bam. It is also all over the house. So let's say I am in the kitchen and you think you might want something, just buzz me."

"Once again with the cell phones," Olivia bit her lip to keep from smiling.

"Alright, haha… well um, any questions?" Elliot asked nervously.

"Just one," Olivia admitted.

"Yeah?"

"When you are out buying nothing for me, could you add some ice cream to that nothing?" Olivia said very casually. Elliot grinned softly and nodded.

"Mint Chocolate Chip still your favorite?" He asked her and she just shrugged, "Call me if you need anything." And he was gone. Misty followed Elliot to see him out, he heard Olivia shut the door softly and he let his composure go away.

"Let me warn you girl, she is not going to be a ride in the park. On a carriage with a bunch of horse," Elliot looked down at his dog, "Watch her while I'm gone ok?" He patted the dog on the head and she barked softly in reply, "'I'm counting on you." Elliot left the house and locked up, feeling a tight sensation in his stomach as he left Olivia. Even though it was to venture to the store, it still felt like he was leaving her just like before.

...SVU…. SVU….. SVU…..

Olivia was in complete awe that she had not shown Elliot. She refused to show him any sign of gratitude at that very moment. However the room she was staring at was like it was out of a fairytale. This was by far much nicer and more modern then the house he and Kathy had lived in together. Olivia turned on the Television and her eyes widened at the High Definition. Her TV set had to be a dinosaur by now as it just collected dust. Olivia could not remember the last time she turned her TV set on.

"What the…" Olivia looked at the hundreds of tiny buttons on the remote, "Who… on earth needs this many buttons and for what?" Olivia pressed the program button and all of the sudden there was a TV guide all over the screen. She was a search feature and became interested. She figured out how to put in, 'The sound of Music.' And it popped up.

"Oh wow," Olivia smiled as she set it to remind her when it came on, which was tomorrow morning. There was a buzzing in her pocket and she checked her phone, it was Casey.

"Are you alive?" Casey asked in a conspiracy tone.

"Casey?" Olivia looked around.

"I just turned down the road Elliot lives on and my god did he sell out. How much did he pay for his mansion? An arm, a leg and a kidney?" Casey's kidney reference made Olivia smile at the memory of how Elliot told her he would give her a kidney since they had the same blood type.

"Not if I give you mine first," Olivia had said as the elevator doors shut. It was then during their relationship when she realized she had more then professional feelings for her partner. She never explored it, ever. That was when Elliot became a friend, not just a partner but a good friend, who needed her. She needed him too at that junction in their lives.

"Liv?" Casey asked.

"I know, it's like they pulled the neighborhood out of a magazine for L.L. Bean." Olivia opened one of her doors to see Misty laying down in front of her feet, "Aw,"

"What?" Casey asked.

"This dog that Elliot has… she's a real sweetie."

"Well, you sound better," Casey signed, "But are you feeling better?"

"I don't want to be here," Olivia sighed, "I don't want him taking care of me,"

"You need a break from all of the stress Liv,"

"Elliot leaving was the stress," Olivia began to get hot.

"So he divorced Kathy huh?" Casey changed the subject, sounding smug.

'It appears so." Olivia headed down the staircase with Misty at her heals.

"OH MY GOD," Casey all of the sudden sounded like she had witnessed a billboard with Olivia's face on it, "He has a white picket freaking fence?"

"Oh thank god, you're here." Olivia sighed in relief.

"Am I really? I was hoping it was a wrong address." Casey still sounded in awe, "Where the hell is the fountain?"

"That's what I said," Olivia opened the front door and waved to Casey who came to a complete stop and they hung up their phones.

"Can Elliot take care of me too?" Casey asked as she got out of her car with a duffel bag.

"Oh thank God, I am dying for a shower," Olivia showed Casey in and she just looked around the place in wonder.

"The son of a bitch really did it; he got himself a ken doll mansion. Wow," Casey was still looking around, taking the house in, "What the hell does your room look like? What does his room look like?"

"Ok slow down there, One, I have not been in his room. Nor will I ever need to go into his room so never mention that again," Olivia flushed and took her duffel from Casey, "And two, my room is… fine." Olivia downplayed it.

"What? No tour?" Casey grinned mischievously.

"No, I have not even had the grand tour, he's out getting groceries and such."

"I hate to say it…" Casey started.

"Then don't…" Olivia followed.

"But you've got it made," Casey raised her eyebrows, "Granted, you are still pissed with him. Hell, I'm still pissed with him but to have you come and stay here?" Casey set a hand over her heart and looked touched.

"Wanna see my room?" Olivia wanted to get Casey out of this. Elliot Stabler owed Olivia more then this. So what if his house was a dream? So what if he could give her anything she needed or wanted? It still did not take away what he did and how he did it.

"Ok, what's wrong?" Casey touched Olivia's shoulder, sensing the change in Olivia's mood.

"What do you think?" Olivia asked, a tear threatening her eyes but she wiped it away before it could fall.

"Come here," Casey took her hand and led her into the living room where the overhead lights came on and she stopped in midstep.

"Motion activated," Olivia explained.

"Creepy," Casey admitted, "Cooler then ice but… creepy," She took both of Olivia's hands and sat her down, "Talk to me Liv."

"Do you have any idea how hard it has been… night after night, day after day… not seeing him? Hearing from him? Then… all of the sudden… poof. There he is the scene I had thought over and over in my mind. How it might happen, how he might call or email me, telling me he was sorry for everything. Me, I had planned to be understanding, to give him a hug and tell him I was proud of him for finally-" Olivia cut herself off as Casey pulled her into a tight hug.

"Oh Liv," Was all she could say.

"For finally coming to me, confiding in me," Olivia sniffled, "I had no idea I would react so… so…"

"Angry?" Casey offered.

"Yes!" Olivia sat up and stared at Casey in amazement, "I am furious with him right now, I hate him… I want to kick him, go pick all of his flowers so he has none." Olivia made a face as she cried, "I have no desire to hug him, console him… nothing."

"Olivia, you have every right to feel how you do," Casey insisted, "Every right... give it some time. You are still in shock," Casey reminded her.

"What the hell… am I going to do here for an entire month?" Olivia asked Casey with dread.

"Catch up on Dancing with the Stars? Take up knitting? Oh… there is also the idea of working things out with your best friend slash ex-partner." Casey gave Olivia a warm smile, "It will be alright Liv and Elliot invited all of us over this Sunday for… a cookout and scrabble," Casey looked around the living room and chuckled, "I can now picture that much soooo better in my head."

"Thanks for everything Casey," Olivia told her as the women stood up from the couch.

"Anytime Liv," They stood there for a good while until Olivia finally said,

"Do you want to see my room?"

"Oh god yes," Casey eagerly followed her upstairs and laughed out loud when she saw the room, "You should see if he is willing to rent this room out to you once you feel better!"

"Ok, you saw it… now go," Olivia cringed as Casey hurried over to the bed.

"Is this Egyptian cotton? Oh my god… and… oh… mints on the pillow? What does he have? A maid?"

"No and… Casey, thank you so much but I really want to just take a shower. I feel… blah."

"Of course," Casey composed herself and stuck her head into Olivia's bathroom, "You have double sinks? And a window… you have a window and a sunroof over your Jacuzzi bathtub!"

"Yup," Olivia sighed.

"How the hell… does Elliot Stabler get this much money?"

"The benefits are amazing," Olivia gave Casey a knowing smile and the ADA grimaced.

"Oh great… so when you retire, you are going buy the mansion next to this one," Casey rolled her eyes, "Alright… go take a bath… call me." Casey gave her a hug and showed herself out. Olivia was in heaven as she took a steaming bubble bath, taking note that she could see the moon outside. This house was amazing and she was almost in love with it. After getting completely pruned up, Olivia got out of the bathtub and changed into some comfy elastic pajamas. Elliot must have returned because she heard something downstairs.

"Hey," Elliot greeted her as she walked into a kitchen invaded with grocery bags.

"Buy the entire store?" Olivia asked, peaking in one of the bags and gasped when she saw white fudge covered Oreos.

"Those are great in ice cream," Elliot came over, took out and box and handed her a bowl with mint chip in it.

"What if I don't want this?" Olivia challenged him.

"Then more for me," Elliot took back the bowl but she grabbed it from him.

"Might as well… eat this; wouldn't want it to go to waste," Olivia muttered, taking the bowl and cookies with her to the table.

"So… is there anything you might want to do tonight? Watch a movie? Play a game? Talk?" Elliot looked at her with an odd expression on his face. He looked like he was in pain but trying not to show it.

"I'm really not up to talking tonight," Olivia told him honestly.

"Then can I talk?" Elliot's tone was so serious that Olivia all of the sudden did not want her ice cream. She wanted to run upstairs and hide under the covers of the glorious bed that she could not wait to fall asleep in.

"I'm pretty tired, Elliot." Olivia muttered in all sincerity.

"Then I will be brief as possible. I know that you do not want to keep hearing me tell you that I am sorry," Elliot walked over to the table and paused, as if to see if Olivia would stop him. She took a bite of her melting ice cream and he sat down across from her, "But I am Olivia. I am… so sorry."

"Ok," Olivia replied and he sighed.

"I did not stay away to hurt you… I thought… I thought that you would be better off without someone like me to… hurt you." Elliot's admission made Olivia's entire mind shift.

"What?" She asked breathlessly and Elliot just looked at her.

"I have always been trouble Liv, with my temper… my relationship with Kathy… lack of parenting… then shooting a girl, killing a girl who… I saved a rapist. I protected the bad guy," Elliot looked down, his hands shaking as he wrapped them around his neck, "I could not even look at myself in the mirror, let alone face you." His blue eyes met her brown ones and she saw tears forming in his eyes.

"El…" Olivia could feel her shell start to crack a tiny bit.

"I picked up that phone to call you so many times… just thinking about you, in the precinct… at your desk. All alone," Elliot's face was now getting red, "You've always been alone Liv, until I came along. You were never alone if I was there… I was…"

"My family," Olivia said, her own tears spilling down. Neither one of them moved, they just sat there looking at one another, both in their own pain.

"I abandoned you," Elliot's voice broke, "I let you down, I took away the last thing you had that was stable. That was familiar and I don't blame you if you hate me, I don' blame you for never wanting to talk to me again or see me again. I deserve that," Elliot nodded, his face now soaked with tears just as Olivia's was.

"If you knew…" Her own voice broke, "If you knew how much it hurt, how much it broke me that you were gone, that you left. Without any trace, if you knew how gut wrenching that was for me then why?" Olivia asked him, "Why? You should know that I don't care that you fucked up. You did what you had to do, you had no idea you would kill her. You just wanted to disarm her," Olivia's ice cream was now a bowl of green soup and she shoved it way.

"I keep replaying it over and over and over," Elliot shook his head, "I betrayed myself, my job… you."

"You betrayed me by leaving," Olivia demanded, still crying, "Elliot, you betrayed me by leaving without a word. Don't you understand that I love you? I love you unconditionally, if I had killed a child, would you want me gone? Would you want me to just leave because I thought it was better for you? Would you want me to disappear? Leave you alone?" Olivia watched as Elliot registered this. As he did, a look of realization came over his face and he began to sob silently.

"I've known the pain… of you leaving without a word. I…" Elliot broke, "Oh God… no Liv, no. I would not want you to disappear."

"You would want me to come to you wouldn't you?" Olivia pointed out and he nodded vigorously, "So why didn't you come to me?"

"I was terrified that you would hate me," Elliot admitted. Olivia watched him cry, her own tears clouding her vision. Thinking very hard about what she was about to do, Olivia slowly got up from her seat, walked very slowly over to Elliot and set a hand on his right shoulder. He placed his left hand on top of hers. Then somehow he was standing, with her pressed against him, hands in her hair. Their bodies shook together as they both cried, letting it out.

"I love you too Liv," Elliot told her, sniffling, "I'm just so shitty at this."

"I'm still upset," Olivia let him know in a gentle voice.

"I know," Elliot held her more closely.

"El?" Olivia looked up at him.

"Yeah?"

"Please don't take this the wrong way but…" Olivia slapped him in the face and he looked down at her in shock before shaking his head.

"I deserve that." Elliot looked down at her and smiled softly. Olivia just looked up at him until she realized how vulnerable she still was.

"I… am… tired." Olivia was now out of his arms and taking the box of Oreo's under her left arm, "I think I am going to get to head to bed,"

"Alright," Elliot nodded, swallowing hard, "Oh," He turned to go to one of the huge bags and handed her two tiny paper bags, "To help you sleep."

"Thanks." Olivia said and Misty got up from her spot to follow Olivia.

"Olivia," Elliot called out to her and she turned before going up the stairs.

"Yes?"

"Please don't forget what happened here tonight…" Elliot seemed to plead and she sighed.

"Trust me… I won't." And Olivia was off to bed, leaving Elliot to the rest of the groceries.


	7. Elliots Orders

Olivia woke up to a bird at her window chirping, her head was halfway covered with one of the huge down pillows and she pushed it off of her.

"Of course there is a bird… outside of my window," Olivia murmured, "All I am missing is a magical birdbath that grants wishes when I throw a penny in." She looked over to check the time. She was shocked to see that it was 8 AM and sat up on alert. Feeling disoriented, Olivia climbed out of her bed; a simple hop or leg out would not suffice, it was just that huge. She went over to where her dresser was and was annoyed to see that it was empty. With all of the excitement with everything last night, she had not bothered to unpack yet.

"…And up next is your classical favorite… The Sound of Music!" The Television turned on without being asked to and Olivia jumped a foot in the air, startling the once serene bird off of her deck. It made chirping noises in protest as it flew off to wake someone else up.

"Am I really still in this nightmare?" Olivia muttered as she went over and hit the red button on the remote. She figured that she would watch the movie when she was awake enough to feel her face, "I can't believe that I slept in," Olivia yawned, taking in her surroundings. She had white sheer curtains which let light into her entire room. It was nice, much different then what she was used to. Misty was no longer in the room, Olivia had let her out when the dog had whined at the door for a few minutes after she was comfy in her bed.

"8 AM," Olivia groaned and found her robe. No way was she getting dressed before coffee, she was sure Elliot was still asleep. He had no reason to be up this early anymore, Olivia was used to waking around 5 AM every morning unless she had been working on a case all night and then sleep was just out of the question.

"Sleep well?" Elliot's voice surprised her when she made her way into the kitchen. He was sitting at the table, reading the paper with a cup of coffee in his right hand.

"What are you doing up so early?" Olivia asked, smelling the aroma and heading towards the coffee pot. Elliot's kitchen floor was a type of black marble, cold on her bare feet. Olivia made a mental note to get some slippers.

"I am still on a cop's schedule," Elliot shrugged, taking a gulp of his coffee. Olivia took note that he was dressed and she felt awkward all of the sudden. Not that Elliot had never seen her out of her work clothes. There was that one time when she removed her shirt to save his life while he was undercover. Oh and that other time she was sick with a horrible flu and Elliot insisted on taking care of her. She was all of the sudden having déjà vu.

"I woke up feeling horrible," Olivia muttered and Elliot set his paper down to look at her. "I hate sleeping in." She reminded him.

"You have all of the time in the world to rest, so do it."

"What about my cases?" Olivia poured coffee into a cup that had been placed on the counter for her, "Dammit, how am I going to… survive like this?" Olivia took a sip of her coffee after putting some cream into it and was almost knocked off of her feet.

"It's good isn't it?" Elliot grinned at her reaction.

"Good? I feel like I am cheating on my barista that I go to every day," Olivia downed the cup and refilled.

"There are pancakes on the stove, still hot. I was going to wait for you but…" Elliot's voice trailed off as Olivia looked over at the stove. Pancakes sounded wonderful but she did not want Elliot to think that the wall was gone. The tension that he had created by leaving was still there and Olivia was willing to sacrifice pancakes to make her point known. One night of spilling their thoughts to one another was not enough to repair the damage that had been created.

"Thanks but I'm really not in the mood for pancakes," She hoped that he understood her message. His eyes glazed over and she had confirmation that he had received it, "I think I'll just have some cereal." Olivia planned to steal a pancake later on when Elliot was out, that is if he even went out.

"There is an entire cupboard devoted to cereal on your left," Elliot looked back down at the paper and Olivia filled the silence with her cereal making. Olivia decided to sit down at the bar in the kitchen, instead of joining Elliot at the table.

"In case you're wondering, I'm still upset with you," Olivia said after swallowing her first bite of cereal, Elliot opened his mouth to say something but she spoke before he could, "Not that I am dismissing our talk last night but… I am still… I have a hard time when trust has been broken," Olivia looked at him dead in the eyes and he swallowed before nodding.

"That is completely understandable Liv," Elliot encouraged her and she looked down at her breakfast, "I'm still going through stuff too," He shrugged and looked back at his paper, "I get it." Elliot was either pretending to be fully into an article or had found something engrossing because he was not noticing Olivia staring at him.

"What do you mean?" Olivia took another bite of her cereal that tasted horrible compared to the idea of pancakes.

"I live alone, with a dog, in a huge house. After having a job and a family for over 20 years," Elliot all of the sudden seemed very vulnerable and Olivia tensed, watching him carefully, "The first night I spent in this house was… the strangest night of my life. It felt foreign, so I decided to get a dog. Hoping that it might help the loneliness," Elliot sighed as he still looked at the newspaper but kept talking, "Between work and a wife that I hardly saw… I was never alone," Elliot finally looked at Olivia with narrow eyes of curiosity, "How do you do it?"

"What?" Olivia was completely thrown off guard by his question.

"How… have you managed to be alone?" Elliot's question sounded mean but it was the truth. Olivia was alone, for as long as she could remember she never really had anyone. Elliot had been the man she was ever closest to without having to make a real commitment. He had been a work partner; he had been obligated to stay close to her no matter what. She had relied on him, knowing it was his job to always be near her. So when he left, it was like he had justified her worst nightmare, he had only been in it for the job.

"I don't know," Olivia pondered the question, "I guess you get used to it after so long, just like you got used to having a family." Olivia shrugged, "I've honestly always felt weird when I tried to have a relationship," Olivia smiled as she remembered her boyfriends she had, had over the years. Before any of them could get too serious, she would cut it off or get rid of them, "Sharing my space with another person was funny, I liked the middle of the bed." Olivia smiled at the memory.

"No one likes to be alone, I can't imagine,' Elliot threw in.

"I never said that I liked it," Olivia corrected him; "I said that I was used to it."

"Oh," Elliot looked away before looking back at her.

"You were the only constant person in my life; I mean you practically butted your way into it." Olivia rolled her eyes, "You insisted on being that person for me, the one I was comfortable with," Olivia's stomach did a flop and all of the sudden she felt like she was about to get into a roller coaster, "I…"

"I'm here," Elliot told her, his words caused her to shake her head and he scoffed, "Oh I'm not here?"

"I'm here," Olivia looked at him, taking her bowl to the sink and rinsing it out, "I am here, at your house! You never showed up on my doorstep did you? All those times I called you," Olivia began to feel slightly sick and she desperately wanted to take a shower more than anything at that very moment.

"Liv," Elliot had gotten up from his seat and walked up the two steps that led to the kitchen, "Liv… calm down."

"I'm alright with being alone," Olivia told him as he set a hand on her shoulder but she pulled away lightly, "I'm ok."

"You don't have to be alone when it comes to me."

"How the hell am I supposed to believe you Elliot?" Olivia could feel the tears threaten her and she took in a deep breath.

"Because I did come back! It might have taken me a little while but I came back Liv. And I am never going to leave you alone again. Ever." Elliot promised and she had to crack a slight smile despite her sadness.

"You do realize how creepy that sounded right?" She asked him and he smiled as well.

"Yes, I am aware of how strange that came out but I mean it," Elliot locked his eyes on hers and she felt that roller coaster feeling again, "I mean it Liv."

"I should go get ready for the day," Olivia changed the subject immediately, "I feel… strange compared to you right now," Olivia ran a hand over her robe.

"I like your robe," Elliot smirked and she felt her face get hot.

"And on that note…thanks for the coffee… I'm going to go upstairs now." Olivia gave him no time to hug her but when she felt his strong hand on her own, her breath caught, "Elliot?"

"I just want to give you a hug," Elliot told her in a gentle voice, "Can I do that?"

"I guess that would be… alright," Olivia's eyes shut automatically when his arms took hold of her tiny torso. Elliot was so muscular it was insane but he was gentle when he held her, none of that ribcage breaking business. Olivia's heart began to race when she began to feel butterflies in her stomach. With one last squeeze, Olivia pulled out of the hug and then hurried upstairs. Misty shot through her doggy door from the back porch and followed Olivia upstairs as if sensing her distress. She let Misty in and shut the door.

"What was that?" Olivia asked the dog who jumped onto her bed and found a place to lay down, "This is not good," Olivia hissed to the dog who just looked at her, "No, I refuse to start feeling these…. Feelings." Olivia set a hand on her stomach and looked out of her window, "I'm mad at him, angry… hurt. Not… this." Olivia shook her head back and forth, "No, this is not happening."

"Woof," Misty answered her and Olivia looked at the dog.

"He left me," She reminded the dog and then groaned, "I am talking to a dog…" Olivia shook her head at herself and turned the shower on. She looked at her reflection as the steam began to fill the bathroom, "He left you, he will probably do it again so do not…" Olivia spoke to herself, "Do not even think of feeling… that," Olivia said to the butterflies that started up again, "Then again you cannot control how you feel," Olivia bit her lip and got into the shower. It kept her thoughts from calming down, until she was dressed and her make up was done as well as her hair.

"Liv?" Elliot knocked on her door and Misty barked.

"Come in," Olivia was sitting at the desk, looking down at a book Casey had thrown into her suitcase. It was apparent that Casey had not even paid attention to what it was because it was a book on Gardening. The irony.

"Feeling better?" Elliot asked her in a hopeful voice.

"Define what feeling better looks like," Olivia shut the book and looked around the room before her gaze settled on Elliot.

"You know, you can rest in bed and watch some TV," Elliot entered her room and found the remote; "You are here to rest and insist that you do nothing but be entertained today."

"I'm not sick!" Olivia pointed out.

"You were at the hospital yesterday."

"Yeah… for stress."

"Thus why you should be laying down, watching some kind of marathon or cake show or something." Elliot handed her the remote, "I promise I won't tell anyone."

"Dying in bed is so boring," Olivia made a face; "I wish I had my laptop."

"No work," Elliot insisted, "now come on, get into bed."

"I'm all dressed," Olivia pointed out.

"So get undressed," Elliot's mouth clamped shut after he said this and the both of them flushed crimson as if they were in high school, "You know what I meant. Have fun," Elliot was out of the room within seconds and Olivia made a face.

"Ugh," She began to channel surf and reluctantly got into some hangout clothes, "Oh," She said in happy surprise when she saw that one of those wedding cake shows was on TV, "Oh… cake," Olivia gasped when she saw the amazing cakes on the TV, especially in high definition. Olivia reached for her cell phone before realizing it was all the way on the desk.

"Darn," She made a face and reached over to hit the red intercom button.

"Yeah Liv?" Elliot responded.

"Cake," Olivia said quickly.

"I think this thing might be broken. Did you say cake?"

"Cake… you should have cake on Sunday… when people come over."

"Cake… alright." Elliot sounded bewildered, "Anything else?"

"Nope… just cake." Olivia waited to see if he was going to say anything else. He did not and she settled into drool over wedding cakes. She wondered how on earth people could afford weddings like that, they must mean living in a cardboard box for the rest of ones life to spend millions on a wedding.

"I want a wedding," Olivia whispered to Misty who was snoozing at the foot of her bed, "Ok well not a wedding but… a wedding cake," Olivia bit her lip and thought for a moment, "A wedding might be nice though… the whole marriage thing… is so… over-rated," Olivia reached over to her nightstand and pulled out the box of Oreo's from the prior night. Misty looked over and Olivia shook her head.

"You cannot have chocolate and besides, this is my comfort food," Olivia looked over at her cell phone on the desk and then back at Misty, "can you fetch things?" The dog just stared at her, "Go… fetch my phone," Olivia felt stupid asking the dog to fetch something. Chances are the dog had no idea what she was talking about, "Please?" Olivia tried again and to her complete shock, Misty jumped off of the bed and went to grab the cell phone in her mouth.

"Aw man, you drooled all over it," Olivia made a face and Misty halted, "I mean, thanks! Good girl, oh yes, such a good girl. No you cannot have a cookie, it's still chocolate. Here's a pat on the head." Misty hopped back up on the bed as Olivia wiped off of her cell phone.

"Hello?" Casey's voice was hushed.

"Is this a bad time?" Olivia asked as she muted her TV.

"I'm kind of in the middle of a trial," Casey hissed, "Are you ok?"

"I want a wedding cake," Olivia said in an ominous tone.

"Is this a prank call?" Casey's voice went to normal.

"It's Olivia and I want a wedding cake."

"Ok… how about I call you when I am done with this hearing and we can… discuss your medication induced ideals," Casey said in a hurry.

"I am not medicated!" Olivia cried out.

"Even worse, talk to you to later Liv. Get some rest!" Casey hung up and Olivia stared at the Television.

"I still want a wedding cake."


End file.
